I DID IT!!!!

I am spinning i feel so high got my hands up reaching for the sky i'm dizzy and laughing like a mad man at the rain hahaha
*spins and spins and spins* what's got me lighter then air? work does, i know some people saying waaa work? naa dis gyal gone crazy lol i assure you i am not crazy i am just very happy. we had 4 tests to write and if we failed we were only permitted the one rewrite if we failed a second time then we could come back to the next class opening to retrain.
I passed all 4 i had my lifeline left for today and didn't have to use it. I feel so good that i did this, i applied my teachings to my test and i passed. no one studied for me, no one wrote that test for me i did this!
i know most people think that a 600 dollar pay cheque every 2 weeks is chump change and maybe it is but it's better then having nothing or getting 500 dollar welfare cheque for a month. It feels good to know that whatever the amount of my pay is that i am earning it.
more then anything this is an accomplishment of my own will power and strength the real acheivement here is my health isn't holding me back any longer, i'm standing up and taking control and it feels so good. There is room for improvement and advancement in my job and when the time comes maybe i will move up to better things. If not then i am content just to have a job period.

blessings

Lately i know i have been a lil negative and focusing on some of the troubled areas of life rather then acknowledging and appricating the postive. Momma g had in her facebook status the other day about how disheartening it was that blessings are often contributed to or recongized as finacical or materalistic gain. I call her momma for a reason not only because i have become so close to her but because she has much to teach if i am willing to listen. as the old saying goes momma knows best and belive me momma g is no acception to that rule.
when life throws me lemons as it often does i sometimes cringe at the sourness forgetting i have sugar if i look hard enough and i can turn it into refreshing lemonade.
so here are some of the blessings i have encountered.
1 my pets are a blessing cause when i am feeling down they sence this and are extra affectionate. a true pet owner can agree the affection and loyality of a pet is a blessing like no other. the amount of trust they show us to care for them is amazing and mind bending
2 my job, but before you say well this is monetary or materlistic it's not. my job gives me a feeling of accomplishment. i have to pay attention in order to absorb what is being taught i then need to show i am absorbing this information by passing a series of excercises and test. no one can obtain these scores for me, i had to apply myself to do it. also as i have mentioned for so long i felt useless as i was unable to do much on account my decaying health, but now that i am slowly harnassing those issues in and dealing with them i am able to do something. SO my test scores are a scence of pride and accomplishment for me
3 my fmaily and friends,even random strangers from time to time. i know i am a hard person to deal with at the best of times as i suffer from a mental illness DEPRESSION is an illness and it can impact your life dramatically. i am very forunate to encounter people who can and do empathize with this fact. today in the washroom at work due to stress and depression trying and failing miserably to compose myself a fellow employee i'd only met in passing a few times was quick to engulf me in a hug and tell me everything would be ok. maybe it was her mother's instict kicking in or just plain human kindness but none the less for whatever reason or motive to me it was a blessing.
everyone thinks blessings are hard to find but the truth is they are only hard to find when you are attributing them to some sort of finical or materalistic gain. if you recongize them for what they are just simple things then more often then not you'll find your blessings always outway your troubles.

a few updates

well two weeks under my belt so far, training is done on friday the 29th then i got 4 weeks being in the ICU Intensive Coaching Unit taking calls. i'm nervous that i am going to mess up with my tools and things but i am also eager to get on with it. I made a 92% on my last test as well. Now i have a third one on wed remember that 80 is a passing mark. I was happy to see the actualy trainer from rogers back today instead of the other bafoon. we all jokenly referr to luke our rogers trainer as ross keller from friends the resemblance is very uncanny.
it's been almost 2 months since i was last hospitalized so this is progress and in 4 days it will be 6 whole months since i have had a cigerette. i don't even crave them that bad anymore now the smell of it where once it was so apeasing now is stomach churning...
i think for my next tattoo i will get the chinese symbol for courage on my upper back just below my neck as a tribute to myself and all i have accomplished and will con't to accomplish.

week one completed

well i have completed week one of my training to be a TSR (Technicial support rep) at online support for rogers - yahoo! hi-speed internet home services not business.
we had 1 test already and you need an 80 percent to pass or it could be grounds for dismissal i passed with a 92%. i have my team members joking with me saying they are going to be comming to me and borrowing my notes lol. while they were reading the 7.5 module on the rogers internal site we use specifically at work i was still a module behind taking notes.
i have learned or rather refreshed my skills at setting up email address using outlook express on windows xp.
the difference between a pop server and a smtp server as well as number ports and things.
this job is going to be a challenge one i expect to overcome, i will suceed. what is most rewarding about my job honestly are the tests we are given. why? cause no one can write them or study for me, it is something i am doing on my own and my marks are my own i studied hard for them and i earned them. that is rewarding.
i said i was back in control and i am. i have a test on wed comming again let's see how i fair on this one.